第7章 The Paradox of Happiness (1)
·Timothy·
What is the definition of“happiness?”Is it material wealth filled with fancy cars，a dream house，extravagant furs and jewelry? Or is happiness simply having a roof over your head? Food in the fridge? Having a child? A pet? A swimming pool? A designer Gucci bag? Parents? Grandchildren? Love? Money? The perfect job? Winning the Lottery?
According to the American Heritage Dictionary，“happiness”is derived from the Middle English word hap—meaning“Luck.”But does happiness really have anything to do with“luck?”Based on this description，one could assume that if you avoided a fatal traffic accident but got fired by coming late to work，you would be filled with “happiness?”Is it luck or what you make of it? Maybe，“happiness”is exactly defined by its indirect alias: happiness—perhaps，happiness is in fact defined by the fortune that we permit to happen.
Do you recall a time—let’s say when you were about 5 years old—what defined happiness back then? Was it getting a puppy for Christmas? Or maybe，you were a child of divorce；and all you wanted was for Mom and Dad to get back together again? Then as you got older，you were hoping that someone would ask you to the prom that would’ve made your day，maybe your life for the moment. During college，good grades made you happy，but it was short-lived. Because in the real world，you had to look for a job，and competition was stark. It’s an employer’s world you thought. But then，you got the perfect job—now you could be happy—or could you?
Life requires more than just what we want. Inevitably，one must understand to truly find“happiness，”he must make his own happiness“happen”. Sounds a bit redundant，but truthfully，there is no set guidelines that will bring one happiness. There is no“magic wand”we can wave to bring joy into our lives. Human nature thrives on the thrill of the chase. We dream and we hope for the next big break—it is the grand adventure of living.
We are hopeless creatures of comfort. We like having and accumulating things. Whether one admits to it or not，to a certain degree，we all try to keep up with“the Jones”. We work so we can pay our rents，mortgages，credit card debts，school loans，car payments... the list goes on and on. And at some point，we realize，that aside from having most of what we want，we still aren’t happy. Now since we’ve learned to adapt to new standards which we’ve created for ourselves，we find that we have less time，less patience，less sleep，which equates to more stress，more worry and more aggravation. So，is happiness honestly just comprised of“things”?
Sometimes，we virtually trade our lives for not only basic necessities，but for excessive items and services as well. We become so obsessed with finding happiness，that we lose sight of the fact that happiness is within—always. Certainly you’ve heard of individuals trying to“find themselves”，or“rediscover themselves”. The reason they are attempting these innovative approaches is because they are seeking inner happiness. But the point has been missed: Happiness is already there.
Disappointments and tragedies in life will come and go，but happiness never leaves you. The human’s capacity to be resilient to trials is unfathomable. We can lose our jobs，but be grateful for our spouses. We can lose our homes to nature，but be thankful to be alive.
Happiness is a perception of each individual. We are instinctively compelled to find fault in our lives. By human nature，we begin our“fault-finding”mission the moment we’re capable of free-thinking. It is then，that we lose sense of self-worth and the bigger picture of vitality altogether. Stuck in the patterns of the happiness paradox，we simply cannot find where our happiness has gone.
It’s not a matter of bargaining，it’s not an issue of money or fame— instead，happiness is what you resolve to accept. If we live through optimistic hope；if we dare to dream；if we empower ourselves to fully live；then we have regained our sense of happiness. There is no in between. There is no other replacement. We only have one physical life to live— we have no choice but to make the most of it.
矛盾幸福感
蒂莫西
“幸福”是什么？幸福是拥有豪华的汽车、理想的居室、名贵的裘皮和珠宝等物质上的富足吗？或者，简单的只是有个遮风避雨的住所，冰箱里有食物，有孩子、宠物、游泳池、个性的包，有父母、子孙、有爱情、金钱和理想的工作，彩票中奖了呢？
在《美国传统字典》中，幸福是从中古英语“Hap”一词演变而来的。“Hap”意为“好运”。但是，幸福真的与“好运”有关联吗？基于此，想想看，如果你在一场必死无疑的交通事故中幸免于难，却因此迟到，导致被老板炒鱿鱼。对此，你会感到“幸福”吗？这是好运吗？还是要看个人如何看待这个问题呢？或许，确切地说，幸福的定义应当直接从它的词源来看——事实上，幸福或许就是命中注定要发生的事情。
你能回忆起你5岁时对幸福的理解吗？那时，幸福是从圣诞树上摘下的一只小狗吗？或者爸爸妈妈离婚了，你唯一的愿望就是他们能和好如初，重新生活在一起？当你渐渐长大，你希望有人会邀请你参加舞会，希望所有的日子都凝固在那一天、那一刻。上大学期间，考试得了高分让你无比开心，但这种幸福感都是短暂的。因为在现实中，你得找一份工作，而社会竞争也相当激烈。于是，你就会想，这是一个雇主的世界。随后，你找到了一份理想的工作——现在的你很开心，是吗？
生活向我们索要的远比我们想要的多。一个人必须明白，要想真正找到幸福，他就必须让自己幸福。可能听起来有些多余，但确是如此——生活中，没有能带来幸福的现成指南，也没有挥一挥就能带来欢乐的魔棒。人性在追求幸福的刺激中不断升级、完善。我们梦想着、期望着下一个大的转变——这就是生活中的大冒险了。